What's holding you back?

​What do you gain from the things holding you back?
 
Procrastination. Self-sabotage. Perfectionism. Playing small. People pleasing.
 
We know these things hold us back.  We know that big things lie beyond these traits. We know that our life could be very different if we could just stop…
 
We force ourselves past these blocks; feel the fear and do it anyway.  Unfortunately, because these traits are so deeply rooted, they don’t just trip us up once.   They appear in different areas of our lives, and in different scenarios all the time.
 
You do have to get to the root cause of each one and address why this trait is coming up in the first place.
And a simple way you can get to the cause is to ask yourself:
What do I gain from this trait?
 
The first reaction most people have is: “Nothing! I gain nothing from this trait.”
But you do – you get a reward from these traits.
 
What might that reward be?

• The reward you get from procrastination may be that you never have to fail at anything – if you don’t finish, you technically haven’t failed.
• With self-sabotage, the reward may be that others can’t hurt you – you dismantle whatever it is before anyone gets a chance to reject it (or you).
• Maybe the reward for endless perfectionism is that it minimizes the risk of you being judged, wrong or disliked…if you could just get it perfect.
• If you play small, people can’t reject you.
• If you make others happy, then you’ll be liked and accepted.

 
Obviously, these things aren’t true.  But our mind makes a ‘logical’ conclusion that the best way to be liked is to do what everyone else wants you to do, or that he best way to avoid rejection is to push others away, so you stay ‘safe’.
 
We all gain something from the things that hold us back.  Once you identify what the reward is, you understand the motivator behind the behavior.  Then, you can shift your reward to something positive; something that genuinely helps you.
 
Think about the most significant trait holding you back, right now.  What reward does it give you?